Like you, I want my backyard to be a haven. A safe, private place where my crazy two-year-old can run wild through sprinklers in his underpants. A beautiful mecca of relaxation and calm.
I mean really. Is that place even real?
But here’s the problem: we’re a little bit redneck.
We don’t have a pool, so we improvised. We didn’t even mean to do it.
We had discussed getting a large kiddy pool for Weston, then I saw a deal online for a small above-ground pool. I mentioned it to Andy, so he hopped online and started researching. He decided that if you’re getting the small inflatable pool, you might as well spend a little more for the nicer one. And if you’re getting the nicer one, you might as well spend a little more for the solid sides so it lasts more than one season. And if you’re getting that version, you might as well spend a little extra for the larger size.
Then I found this crazy deal on anti-gravity patio chairs…
I’ve always wanted some of those bad boys, so when I saw the deal, I emailed it to Andy to see if he thought we should jump on it. His response? “You had me at anti-gravity!”
(Possibly he thought “anti-gravity” chairs are lighter-than-air? Like floating astronaut space chairs from the Jetsons? I’m not sure, but I didn’t tell him otherwise. I really wanted the chairs.)
We were out yard saling, and we saw some guy hosing off this kids’ plastic outdoor house. I said to Andy: “Maybe he’ll sell it to us!” Because Weston LOVES those things, and we’ve always wanted him to have one.
And when you have a two-year-old and a two-month-old, your yard starts to BREED Large Plastic Colorful Toys. You make the first compromise: okay, he can have this large red toy car/giant lawn eyesore.
And then when you’re not looking, the large red toy car mates with the Radio Flyer wagon…
…in a veritable orgy of primary-colored ugliness and before you can do anything about it, your lawn is littered with Power Wheels and the latest Fisher Price Monstrosity.
So what’s one more giant plastic play house to add to the party?
But it seemed pretty clear that the guy was just hosing off that house for his kids. We continued yard saling until we passed by his house again, and this time, the little house was sitting by the street with a “FREE” sign on it.
So we SCREECHED the car to a halt, raced across the street and knocked on their door to see if they really meant “free.” We’re like “Do you mean ‘free’ as in ‘FREE?’ Like — you just want someone to take this home?” And the lady goes, “Sure! Load it up!”
Which means we’ve pretty much achieved our goals.