So if you tuned in last week, I wrote a post which will be a perfect piece of evidence should I ever be on trial for being neurotic and weird: how I prepared for the BH&G photo shoot.
At around 8:15 a.m., Annette Joseph, Stylist Extraordinaire and her assistant, also-stylist-extraordinaire Katie showed up with coffee in hand! They went straight to the laundry room to scope out the situation, then Annette asked to see my wardrobe.
Now, don’t forget: I had spent excessive amounts of time obsessing over having Enough Options. I knew they wanted summery/springy clothes, and considering I had been a million months pregnant last spring, I didn’t have any existing clothes like that in my wardrobe. Before I went shopping, I had a closet full of either:
1. Winter clothes
2. Maternity clothes that I haven’t taken out yet
3. Old magazines, piles of shoes and one mystery slipper.
I needed to go shopping. I had gathered every soft blazer-to-replace cardigan within a 20-mile radius, and had multiple tanks and skinny jeans/capris all hanging on my little clothes rack awaiting the blessing of the fabulous Annette.
Me: (Gesturing proudly to rack of clothes) “Here it is!”
Annette: “Oh, not looking for blazers. What else do you have?”
Planet Earth: (Stops spinning momentarily.)
Me: (Scrapes self off ceiling.) (Panics.) (Walks calmly to closet and stares at Mystery Slipper in despair.) “Ummmmm.”
Annette: We want you to wear something that looks comfortable, like something you’d reasonably wear to do laundry.
Me: Oh now you’re talking! If you want realistic, how ’bout this holey sweatshirt and mismatched flannel pajama pants? THAT’s what I wear to do laundry.
Annette: Pics out an old boyfriend cardigan I never wear because I can’t decide what it goes with, an old OLD t-shirt (I think from high school) and a chunky yellow necklace. The colors are springy and work perfectly with the laundry room. It takes her five seconds.
Planet Earth: (Resumes regular activities.)
Annette: “We just want you to be beautiful and comfortable. This ‘I Did It’ feature page is one of the most well-read pages in every issue. It’s very important.”
Me: One of the most WHAT?! (Feels so-not-worthy.)
This is Katie (left), Annette (right) and me in The Outfit That Came From Nowhere. Also, you can’t see it here, but I was wearing some freakin’ fabulous pink and orange ballet flats, pictured above on The Clothes Rack That Served No Purpose After All.
Just then, Dulce, the makeup artist, arrived. This will be a total shocker, I know, but hear this: this is not my normal life.
This was the scene the whole time Dulce was doing my makeup. Weston hovered over her giant thing (caboodle?) of makeup, not touching them but DYING to touch them, talking nonstop.
“What’s that? What are you doing? Mom, why do you need makeup? Miss Dulce, how old are your kids? I’m THWEE! I had a birthday! I poopoo in the potty because I’m THWEE! Can I touch this? Can I touch THAT?”
Five stars to Dulce for unending patience! She is fab-u-lous. I don’t know what my left hand is doing in this photo of me with her. Presumably the air guitar.
Dulce even left me with a fun stash of Chanel makeup, so lately when I do my makeup, I feel super luxe like I’m just covering my face in liquid money and it confirms for me that a little pampering does a girl good. I fell in love with the lipstick color she used (Chanel Mademoiselle) so I had to go pick up my own. Don’t even TRY to ruin my day when I’m wearing it. It’s impossible.
While Dulce, Weston and I were doing makeup, Lauren, the amazing photographer, and her assistant – Scott? I think! I’m so sorry about forgetting your name, maybe-Scott – arrived. Andy showed them to the laundry room and they started setting up equipment. I mean serious photography equipment. Weston helped investigate.
Lauren was SO gracious, kind and professional, but I just know she must’ve freaked out a little bit at the situation she was given. The laundry room opens into a tiny hallway, so there is NO. SPACE. to step back and get the whole laundry room in one photo. In this photo, Lauren and Annette are looking into the laundry room. Lauren is standing inside my linen closet to get just a couple extra inches of space. That’s Katie on the left and Scott on the right.
This is the view from inside the laundry room. The amazing and SUPER fun Lauren, crammed into my linen closet: the FEW square inches of my house that I did not organize in preparation for this day.
Weston’s room is at the end of that hallway, and in that room, Katie and Annette had laid out all the amazing styling props they brought. (I’m SO SORRY about these horrible photos, you guys!)
They cleared the shelves and styled the daylights out of my laundry room. It looked amazing! (And you’ll just have to wait and see-eee!)
After everything was set up and I was as beautified as can be done on this earth, the shooting began! I will tell you that I am the least photogenic person I know. I AM NOT BEING FAKE-HUMBLE OR LOOKING FOR COMPLIMENTS. This is a REAL physical condition in which the presence of a camera causes my face to distort. Andy even laughs at how unphotogenic I am. It’s just fact, guys. I’m cool with it.
BUT. Lemme tell ya. Lauren and Annette made me feel like a supaSTAH! They were oohing and ahhing and saying very nice things which I’m certain they say to everyone because it makes you smile for real.
The photo shoot went like this: Me standing in front of washing machine, one snap of camera, Annette steps in and fixes my hair, two more photos. I stand in front of dryer, two snaps of camera, Annette tames the hair. I stand in front of dryer with toe in slightly different position. Annette fixes my hair. I lean slightly forward in front of dryer, two more photos. Hair adjustment. I stand in front of dryer holding towels (that are way too beautifully folded to be something you might actually find in my house), Annette fixes my hair, Lauren snaps photos. I sit on dryer. Photos. Hair fix. I lean forward while sitting on dryer. Hair fix. Photos. I sit indian-style on dryer. Hair fix. Hair fix. Hair fix. Photo. I lean sideways while sitting on dryer. Hair. Hair. Photo.
Annette said my hair “is a person.” (Totally. A very needy person. I think it needs its own stylist to follow it around making it stay out of my eyes.)
The way I just described the process sounds really robotic, but I had the BEST time. We were all laughing and joking and it was very comfortable and natural. I only got a couple quick glances at the photos from far away, but from what I could tell, Lauren is a MASTER. (Sorry, can’t share photos of me in the room just yet!) They were done with the photos very quickly because Annette and Lauren are JUST THAT GOOD. And before I knew it, the shoot was in the books. I said bye to the fabulous crew – here with Katie and Scott –
– and I was left to relish in it. Oh yeah – and they left all the styling props! I have a lifetime supply of cleaning wipes and laundry detergent! #Win. Andy still had the day off, so we went off to Jason’s Deli for lunch: Andy, the kids, me and Chanel Mademoiselle.
I don’t know yet what issue it’ll be in, but it’ll probably be later in the summer. Don’t worry: I won’t let you miss it. I’ll be completely annoying when it comes out, for sure. I will assault unsuspecting people in grocery store checkout lines and make them buy the magazine.
Overall: total dream come true. I was pinching myself and thanking Jesus the whole time.
We got started on a new project this weekend which I can’t wait to tell you about! How was your weekend?