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Introducing My Newest Victims

It’s summertime, friends! One way I like to ring in the sweltering heat is to bring the entire friggin’ rainforest into my home.

So, I’d like to introduce you to our newest residents: this GIANT beast of a tree which takes up an entire corner of my living room (and still needs a new pot)…

…and this little friendly guy who you got a glimpse of when you saw the plate wall.

See how happy, healthy and thriving they look? So innocent, with so much hope for the future? You can just read it all over their bright green leaves: dreams for tomorrow, plans for a long and happy life. I think the smaller one wants to go to Harvard.

HOW MISTAKEN THEY ARE.

Check back with me in a month, when they’ll likely have succumbed to my MURDEROUS BLACK THUMB!

Cue “Psycho” music!

Poor guys. They don’t stand much of a chance. But in the meantime, I like how this guy just has those plates growing up around him like a happy little smoke monster about to smother the ever-loving life right out of him.

(He’s even leaning away from the plates, as if he KNOWS.)

And I like how the other one brings life and fullness to that back corner. I needed something tall there.

Quick decorating tip: When I’m arranging furniture or decorating a room, I always aim for a smooth line of furniture height as your eye travels from one side to the other. You don’t want a tall item, then a short item, then a tall item all in a row, because that’s jolting to your eyes. It’s easier on the eyes to have your decor go in a smooth line of heights as your eyes travel around the room, like so:

Not like this:

Which is also how you’d decorate if you were colorblind, had giant pine trees growing out of your orange carpet and a 12-foot-tall fuchsia lamp.

If you had such a situation in your home, you could fix that by hanging something over the sofa to add height, like some tasteful artwork, or perhaps an illustration of a giant majestic dragon:

See how the dragon made for a smoother line of heights, and also added an extreme measure of fire-breathing glory? That’s what we’re shooting for.

These photoshop illustrations brought to you by:

  • The dangers of blogging late at night.
  • Knowing just enough photoshop to be dangerous.
  • The committee to elect fire-breathing dragons as the next major home decor trend.



Let's connect

Comments

  1. Erin @ His and Hers says:

    awww…now you've totally made me think that I should return those giant tree-shaped fuchsia lamps that I planned to flank our bed with. Love the "brought to you by" and the fact that you can make a post about Harvard-bound indoor plants (which I am guilty of killing as well, thought I usually try to blame it on the cats) so darn amusing. :)

  2. Anonymous says:

    I love your blog !
    1. you're
    my sister in Christ
    2. You are stinkin' funny!
    3. You brag on / drool over your husband like i do mine :)
    -Hannah H

  3. Kelly says:

    Erin, I absolutely think you should keep your fuchsia lamps. If anyone can make them work, you can!

    Hannah, thank you so much for the sweet comment! I do love to hear other women brag on their hubbies too :)

  4. rindercella @ neatheringourfest says:

    THIS post is absolutely hilarious! I also have a black thumb… I am currently praying a peace lily back to life but it seems to like water better… :) Hope you had a great weekend!

  5. Carol@TheDesignPages says:

    I will consider myself forewarned of the dragon design trend. I'm running out to get some now!! I am also a massive unskilled carer of plants. I recently planted some parsley that apparently can NOT be killed. Wrong. It's dead:)

  6. rindercella @ neatheringourfest says:

    have i mentioned that you totally crack me up? just wanted to throw that out there. you can throw it back if you want.

  7. Gloria says:

    Your drawings cracked me up! Love it!
    I need some plants in my home. I'm not sure what color my thumb is either.My aunt was living at our house for a few months, but is currently living in Florida (long complicated story) She left most of her stuff at our house and a few weeks after she was gone texted me to tell me she hoped I was watering her plant that she has had for 23 years. This woman is DEEPLY sentimental to things and doesn't throw ANYTHING away including aluminum foil. So I texted her back, Of course! as I ran cupping water in my hand to give the thing a drink. Come to think of it, its been a few weeks since I last watered it. Eeek!

    I seriously took pictures of it in case it dies, I can replace it and trim it to look the exact same.

  8. CalypsoInTheCountry says:

    You sound like me! I am killing plants left and right in my house! Your post totally cracked me up!
    -Shelley

  9. B says:

    Hahaha, Kelly, you are hilair! Reading your blog almost always brightens my mood, even now as I am sat in the library with a looming deadline!

    xxxBxxx

  10. Omg. Harvard! Lol. You are not only a great home makeoverist, you are also hilarious.

  11. Yes! Finally someone writes about diy gas brazing torch
    kits.

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